Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:31:30 GMT -5
The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle."Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?".
None of the children knew the answer so it was their homework to go home and figure out how to put 2 holes into one.
The kids came back the next day and still, none of them knew the answer.
"I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"
All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole?"
The teacher replies "I have no idea Johnny, why don't you tell us how do you put 7 holes into one hole?"
Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir".
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:32:39 GMT -5
"Johnny, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand."My dog ate it," was his solemn response."Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny."I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down."
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:33:43 GMT -5
Teacher:"Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"?"
Little Johnny:"E-L-E-F-A-N-T"
Teacher:"No Johnny, that is incorrect."
Johnny:"Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it."
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:34:17 GMT -5
Teacher:“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Johnny:“I want to follow in my father’s footsteps and be a policeman.” Teacher:“I didn’t know your father was a policeman.” Johnny:“He isn’t. He’s a burglar.”
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:35:15 GMT -5
A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny,"Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably."It's just like with Santa Claus. I know it's really my dad."
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:37:00 GMT -5
Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said,“I’ve lost my dad!”
The policeman said,“What’s he like?”
Little Johnny replied,“Beer and women!”
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:38:57 GMT -5
Teacher:"If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?"
Little Johnny:"The wrong answer!"
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:40:50 GMT -5
Little Johnny’s teacher went to pay his family a home visit. When Johnny’s grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. Johnny quickly said,“No way. You need to hide, grandpa. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.”
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:42:08 GMT -5
The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns. Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies,“Who? Me?”
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:43:08 GMT -5
Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. So he asks his mom.“Mommy, why is dad bald?”. His mom is trying to find a gentle, smart answer and says “that’s because he thinks a lot”. After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. He then asks “So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?”
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:43:55 GMT -5
Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. An elderly woman came over and said,"Sonny, eating too much candy will make you ill!""My grandpa lived to be 100!" he replied."Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?""Nope," replied Johnny,"but he minded his own darn business!"
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:45:17 GMT -5
Teacher:"Little Johnny, I want you to give me a sentence using the word 'geometry'. Johnny:"The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say,'Gee, I'm a tree!'"
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:46:56 GMT -5
Teacher:"Can you count to 10?"
Little Johnny:"Yes, teacher – one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten."
Teacher:"Now go on from there."
Little Johnny:"Jack, Queen, King."
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:48:10 GMT -5
When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. What did his mother do? She grounded him.
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:49:45 GMT -5
Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. The cashier said,“There’s no way I can take this. It’s fake.” Johnny said,“Well, the car’s not real either.”
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:51:31 GMT -5
Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied,“It’s to bury my goldfish.” The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole. Johnny said,“It had to be! My goldfish is inside of your cat.”
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:52:55 GMT -5
– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her gummy bears.
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:54:28 GMT -5
The teacher asked Little Johnny:"How can you prove the earth is round?"
Little Johnny replied:"I can't. Besides, I never said it was."
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:55:17 GMT -5
Little Johnny:"Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak?"
Mum:"No it doesn't my son."
Little Johnny:"Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ..."
|
|
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
|
Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:56:59 GMT -5
Johnny:"Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?"
Dad:"No son, why do you ask?"
Johnny:"Well where did you find my mummy?"
|
|