Recession related:

[Deleted]

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.Exxon-

Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.


Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.


My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!


A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .


A picture is now only worth 200 words.


When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.


The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.


Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

[deyana]

;D I like it.

[deyana]

How much??


A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door

"Is your Dad home?"

"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."

"Well, is your mother here?"

"No sir, she went to town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably,"I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Linda, pregnant."'


The boy thought for a moment."You would have to talk to Dad about that.. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard.


(Oh gosh, I'm bad! that wasn't very lady like!)