Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:07:30 GMT -5
Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.
Father,"Can you please pray for dinner!"
Little Johnny,"Dear God. Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dad’s computer. Amen!"
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:08:07 GMT -5
Teacher:"Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?"
Little Johnny:"A teacher, miss."
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:10:44 GMT -5
Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead.
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:11:53 GMT -5
Teacher:"Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Little Johnny:“My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:13:12 GMT -5
Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card?"
Johnny replies "Sorry dad, I don't have it". His father is furious and says "Why not?"
Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents."
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:15:44 GMT -5
Teacher:"If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?"
Little Johnny:"Big hands!"
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:17:03 GMT -5
Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson. “If you had ten dollars,” asks the teacher,“and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?” “Ten,” answers Little Johnny. “Ten?” the teacher asks.“How do you get ten?” Johnny replies,“That’s because you may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to get it!”
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:18:50 GMT -5
Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone. Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone."Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother. From the kitchen, Johnny's mom said,"Tell him I'll call him back." Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying,"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:19:21 GMT -5
A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. When he was done, he asked the kids,"Where do you want to go?""Heaven!" cried Little Suzie."And what do you have to be to go there?"'Dead!' cried Little Johnny.
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:19:53 GMT -5
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Little Johnny replied:"They couldn't get a babysitter."
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:20:45 GMT -5
Little Johnny asks his mum,“Mum, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time in a faraway land’?” “No darling,” says his mother, somewhat distressed,“Sometimes, they can begin with ‘I’ve got too much work in the office tonight, I’ll come home later.”
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:21:11 GMT -5
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn’t a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma,“Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?” “Darling, I really didn’t like it. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy.”
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:21:42 GMT -5
Teacher:"I told you to stand at the end of the line?"
Little Johnny:"I tried, but there was someone already there!"
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:22:22 GMT -5
Teacher:"Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes!"
Little Johnny:"We're not passing notes. We're playing cards!"
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:23:38 GMT -5
Teacher:"Fred can you find me America on the map please?"
Fred:"There it is!"
Teacher:"Now, Johnny, who discovered America?"
Little Johnny:"Fred did!"
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:25:48 GMT -5
Little Johnny says:“Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?” Mom replies:“Yes. What about it?” He says:“Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:26:37 GMT -5
After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them,“You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?” Little Johnny offers,“Miss, it’s so we wouldn’t wake all those people sleeping.”
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:27:32 GMT -5
A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.
The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said,"My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."
The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating,"My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby ... if I can, and I think I can."
The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said,"My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can ... and I think can!"
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:29:35 GMT -5
Teacher:"If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?"
Little Johnny:"None!"
Teacher (surprised):"Why not?"
Little Johnny:"Because you can't lay eggs!"
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Date Joined: Mar 22, 2024 10:31:37 GMT -5
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Post by johnnylee on Mar 25, 2024 15:30:16 GMT -5
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?"
His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny."
A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
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