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Date Joined: Nov 1, 2022 9:59:02 GMT -5
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Post by raven on Sept 24, 2023 21:00:15 GMT -5
So it is mostly guys who feel the need to be married or attached in that way. I wonder why not women so much? I think older men want someone take care of them and older women are tired of taking care of people lol. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2023 8:40:10 GMT -5
Statistically, it is men who have been married but lost their wives, that will want to get married again and asap. Women, who have lost their partners, not so much... I know that if anything (God forbid) happened to my husband I am done. I don't want to risk being with someone like my ex again. I've finally chosen a decent man and know exactly how I am supposed to be treated. Plus, I don't think anyone could ever fill my husband's shoes and I'm honestly not willing to let anyone try. I'm good. Not surprisingly, me and the wife had a brief discussion about this not long ago. Like you, in the event of my wife passing first, I would not see myself remarrying. Not even dating. Relationships are just to much work and with each passing year I seem to want to work less and less. For her I told her to be happy. I feel I have spent a lifetime trying to make sure she was happy. In my death I would hate to think that she's not.(after grieving) If another man or house/home does that, do it. JM2C |
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Date Joined: Jun 7, 2010 10:10:35 GMT -5
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Post by deyana on Sept 25, 2023 9:08:26 GMT -5
Lets see if I can say this nice... A lady that visit for special relations is called... Nope I can't say it nice. Sorry. I would assume that it's not all about sex though. I mean what is it you can't do if you live down the street that you can do by living in the same house? In the case of a woman (in many cases) it would mean less chores/cooking to do I expect. I does depend on the relationship I think though. If you have a man who understands how to be a good, supporting person in a woman's life, but still give her freedom of thought, and freedom to make her own choices and stand by them, then the living together all the time, might work. No one wants to live with an oppressor. This can apply to men and women. Understanding the others wants and needs is a biggie. @sprocket, what about the men? What they called when they only want 'special relations'  |
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Date Joined: Jun 7, 2010 10:10:35 GMT -5
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Post by deyana on Sept 25, 2023 9:25:56 GMT -5
So it is mostly guys who feel the need to be married or attached in that way. I wonder why not women so much? I think older men want someone take care of them and older women are tired of taking care of people lol. I think you are on to something there, Raven! |
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Date Joined: Jun 7, 2010 10:10:35 GMT -5
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Post by deyana on Sept 25, 2023 9:30:23 GMT -5
Statistically, it is men who have been married but lost their wives, that will want to get married again and asap. Women, who have lost their partners, not so much... I know that if anything (God forbid) happened to my husband I am done. I don't want to risk being with someone like my ex again. I've finally chosen a decent man and know exactly how I am supposed to be treated. Plus, I don't think anyone could ever fill my husband's shoes and I'm honestly not willing to let anyone try. I'm good. Yep, I understand what you are saying. I think for those of us women, who know the difference between a good, decent man and a bad man, would never want the bad version ever again. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2023 10:05:53 GMT -5
Lets see if I can say this nice... A lady that visit for special relations is called... Nope I can't say it nice. Sorry. I would assume that it's not all about sex though. I mean what is it you can't do if you live down the street that you can do by living in the same house? In the case of a woman (in many cases) it would mean less chores/cooking to do I expect. I does depend on the relationship I think though. If you have a man who understands how to be a good, supporting person in a woman's life, but still give her freedom of thought, and freedom to make her own choices and stand by them, then the living together all the time, might work. No one wants to live with an oppressor. This can apply to men and women. Understanding the others wants and needs is a biggie. @sprocket , what about the men? What they called when they only want 'special relations' I don't think the view is one sided, but I'm not a woman. Men are viewed much the same, but maybe without the names. My point was simply to say, it would be a practice I would not support. By either the man or the woman. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2023 10:08:25 GMT -5
So it is mostly guys who feel the need to be married or attached in that way. I wonder why not women so much? I think older men want someone take care of them and older women are tired of taking care of people lol. Much accuracy in this comment. I've been contemplating my Will to include, or mention, my care. |
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Date Joined: May 20, 2022 16:28:37 GMT -5
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Post by apple on Sept 25, 2023 10:12:39 GMT -5
I have not read any of the replies, so if I insult someone, I'm sorry. Couples that don't live together are not couples. My wife suggested different bedrooms once and it almost cost her the marriage. Lets see if I can say this nice... A lady that visit for special relations is called... Nope I can't say it nice. Sorry. I think what works for some might not work for others. I do know a couple who have separate homes. They swear they are happier than ever and very much more in love than ever. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2023 10:36:15 GMT -5
I have not read any of the replies, so if I insult someone, I'm sorry. Couples that don't live together are not couples. My wife suggested different bedrooms once and it almost cost her the marriage. Lets see if I can say this nice... A lady that visit for special relations is called... Nope I can't say it nice. Sorry. I think what works for some might not work for others. I do know a couple who have separate homes. They swear they are happier than ever and very much more in love than ever. I don't doubt you for a minute, but for me, when I buy into the concept of marriage I anticipate the complete package. Not a vising sex partner, which with separate homes would be about the only thing left. I want a spouse that listens to me tell of my day. I listen to hers. We partner in the upkeep of the home with her doing more work than me. At least that's her story. We care to our debts via financial discussions and her giving me all her money. J/K The point is we live as one home. Together. That's Marriage. You need a boyfriend or a girlfriend, go get one. You need company for a lonely night, call 1-900-555-5555. Want to be married, play the part. |
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Date Joined: Mar 14, 2016 18:48:07 GMT -5
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Post by Springschick on Sept 25, 2023 11:26:21 GMT -5
Separate homes seems a bit much, but I am sure it works for some.
Now, separate bedrooms can have merit, especially if one partner is a heavy snorer, or they have two different sleep schedules. Good sleep is essential to good health and mental well being. Having your sleep interrupted frequently is not a good thing.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2023 11:30:37 GMT -5
Separate homes seems a bit much, but I am sure it works for some. Now, separate bedrooms can have merit, especially if one partner is a heavy snorer, or they have two different sleep schedules. Good sleep is essential to good health and mental well being. Having your sleep interrupted frequently is not a good thing. My wife's abnormally loud snoring is not the topic.  |
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Date Joined: May 20, 2022 16:28:37 GMT -5
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Post by apple on Sept 25, 2023 12:55:52 GMT -5
Separate homes seems a bit much, but I am sure it works for some. Now, separate bedrooms can have merit, especially if one partner is a heavy snorer, or they have two different sleep schedules. Good sleep is essential to good health and mental well being. Having your sleep interrupted frequently is not a good thing. Agreed, sometimes its just as simple as needing a good nights sleep! |
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Date Joined: May 20, 2022 16:28:37 GMT -5
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Post by apple on Sept 25, 2023 13:05:56 GMT -5
I think what works for some might not work for others. I do know a couple who have separate homes. They swear they are happier than ever and very much more in love than ever. I don't doubt you for a minute, but for me, when I buy into the concept of marriage I anticipate the complete package. Not a vising sex partner, which with separate homes would be about the only thing left. I want a spouse that listens to me tell of my day. I listen to hers. We partner in the upkeep of the home with her doing more work than me. At least that's her story. We care to our debts via financial discussions and her giving me all her money. J/K The point is we live as one home. Together. That's Marriage. You need a boyfriend or a girlfriend, go get one. You need company for a lonely night, call 1-900-555-5555. Want to be married, play the part. The couple I know are older, he is semi retired and prefers to live out of the city. She is not retired and works in the city so she has a condo downtown. They have a date night during the work week and actually go out and spend time together and he stays with her and heads to his home the following morning. Weekends are at his place. They speak every morning and several times a day. Both say their relationship is better than ever. If anything, their communication is better. Also just because you are in the same house or room doesn't necessarily mean you are communicating. Either way I respect peoples choices to do what works for them. The same goes for separate beds, sleep is important! To each their own. |
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Date Joined: Nov 1, 2022 9:59:02 GMT -5
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Post by raven on Sept 25, 2023 14:04:06 GMT -5
I know that if anything (God forbid) happened to my husband I am done. I don't want to risk being with someone like my ex again. I've finally chosen a decent man and know exactly how I am supposed to be treated. Plus, I don't think anyone could ever fill my husband's shoes and I'm honestly not willing to let anyone try. I'm good. Yep, I understand what you are saying. I think for those of us women, who know the difference between a good, decent man and a bad man, would never want the bad version ever again. Exactly. Lol. |
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Date Joined: Jun 7, 2010 10:10:35 GMT -5
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Post by deyana on Sept 26, 2023 20:14:19 GMT -5
Want to be married, play the part. If one of them is putting the pressure to 'play' at what they might conceive marriage should me. Then it's not much fun is it? I think that is why some people are put off marriage all together. They don't want to play a 'role'. Freedom within a marriage or live in partnership is so important. Surely it shouldn't be about telling your partner 'do it like this or else' kind of thing? Yeah they might comply and put on a smile to say it's okay, but at the same time they are losing a bit of themselves. The bit that says: My thoughts and ideas and wants are important. |
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Date Joined: May 20, 2022 16:28:37 GMT -5
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Post by apple on Sept 26, 2023 20:16:27 GMT -5
Want to be married, play the part. If one of them is putting the pressure to 'play' at what they might conceive marriage should me. Then it's not much fun is it? I think that is why some people are put off marriage all together. They don't want to play a 'role'. Freedom within a marriage or live in partnership is so important. Surely it shouldn't be about telling your partner 'do it like this or else' kind of thing? Yeah they might comply and put on a smile to say it's okay, but at the same time they are losing a bit of themselves. The bit that says: My thoughts and ideas and wants are important.  |
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Date Joined: Oct 26, 2021 18:21:44 GMT -5
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Post by Rusty on Sept 26, 2023 21:54:05 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2023 16:49:39 GMT -5
Want to be married, play the part. If one of them is putting the pressure to 'play' at what they might conceive marriage should me. Then it's not much fun is it? I think that is why some people are put off marriage all together. They don't want to play a 'role'. Freedom within a marriage or live in partnership is so important. Surely it shouldn't be about telling your partner 'do it like this or else' kind of thing? Yeah they might comply and put on a smile to say it's okay, but at the same time they are losing a bit of themselves. The bit that says: My thoughts and ideas and wants are important. I think your taking my words way to literal, but marriage does come with basic expectations. If not, marriage doesn't serve a purpose outside of a tax deduction. Isn't that romantic? If you ever met my wife you would know there is very little I can tell her, but I still have those basic expectations. Co-habitation, with each other, is one of those basic things for us. That doesn't make us any more right or wrong than the next couple, just more committed to just each other. If a person wants their time and life to be spent in exclusion of their mate, marriage isn't really needed, is it? |
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Date Joined: Mar 14, 2016 18:48:07 GMT -5
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Post by Springschick on Sept 27, 2023 17:36:19 GMT -5
For much of history, marriage has been little more than a business transaction.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2023 18:22:43 GMT -5
For much of history, marriage has been little more than a business transaction. Whose history? There mere concept of marriage came about in order of a way to say this is mine, not yours. For both men and women, before some gets butthurt. So, I have to believe that it's only at a later date business benefits came about. Or are you referring more to human trafficking? My answer would likely remain the same, but never know. What's a good spouse going for these days? |
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