Date Joined: Oct 26, 2021 18:21:44 GMT -5
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Post by Rusty on Sept 27, 2023 20:04:15 GMT -5
After being divorced on 8/28/2017 I nevdr wanted to be married again. But in my mind anyone who just wants sex( FWB and I have many friends who think likewise)
They truly don't want to give 100%.
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Date Joined: Oct 26, 2021 18:21:44 GMT -5
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Post by Rusty on Sept 27, 2023 20:06:28 GMT -5
Hell I put all my assets out there for 2 ladies since 1982. Worked out both divorces so put your $$ where your mouth is........
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Date Joined: Jun 7, 2010 10:10:35 GMT -5
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Post by deyana on Sept 27, 2023 20:32:17 GMT -5
If one of them is putting the pressure to 'play' at what they might conceive marriage should me. Then it's not much fun is it? I think that is why some people are put off marriage all together. They don't want to play a 'role'. Freedom within a marriage or live in partnership is so important. Surely it shouldn't be about telling your partner 'do it like this or else' kind of thing? Yeah they might comply and put on a smile to say it's okay, but at the same time they are losing a bit of themselves. The bit that says: My thoughts and ideas and wants are important. I think your taking my words way to literal, but marriage does come with basic expectations. If not, marriage doesn't serve a purpose outside of a tax deduction. Isn't that romantic? If you ever met my wife you would know there is very little I can tell her, but I still have those basic expectations. Co-habitation, with each other, is one of those basic things for us. That doesn't make us any more right or wrong than the next couple, just more committed to just each other. If a person wants their time and life to be spent in exclusion of their mate, marriage isn't really needed, is it? You can be in a long term relationship with someone without being Married. Do you see both of these kind of unions as being different from each other? One more superior or perfect than the other? I'm just curious. It's not 'exclusion' we were talking about though was it? Did you see it that way? In that if not living under the same roof, they are both living separate lives? I am all for freedom of choice. There are many kinds of unions out there, what suits one person or couple may not suit another.
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Date Joined: Mar 14, 2016 18:48:07 GMT -5
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Post by Springschick on Sept 28, 2023 7:31:40 GMT -5
For much of history, marriage has been little more than a business transaction. Whose history? There mere concept of marriage came about in order of a way to say this is mine, not yours. For both men and women, before some gets butthurt. So, I have to believe that it's only at a later date business benefits came about. Or are you referring more to human trafficking? My answer would likely remain the same, but never know. What's a good spouse going for these days? A large part of European history saw marriages arranged to join lands and kingdoms. There are many cultures where marriages are arranged between parents. The dowry is basically buying a wife from her family. Polygamy, in my opinion, falls into what you describe above as laying claim to what is yours. So yes, business transactions.
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Date Joined: May 18, 2024 16:15:13 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2023 17:29:13 GMT -5
I think your taking my words way to literal, but marriage does come with basic expectations. If not, marriage doesn't serve a purpose outside of a tax deduction. Isn't that romantic? If you ever met my wife you would know there is very little I can tell her, but I still have those basic expectations. Co-habitation, with each other, is one of those basic things for us. That doesn't make us any more right or wrong than the next couple, just more committed to just each other. If a person wants their time and life to be spent in exclusion of their mate, marriage isn't really needed, is it? You can be in a long term relationship with someone without being Married. Do you see both of these kind of unions as being different from each other? One more superior or perfect than the other? I'm just curious. It's not 'exclusion' we were talking about though was it? Did you see it that way? In that if not living under the same roof, they are both living separate lives? I am all for freedom of choice. There are many kinds of unions out there, what suits one person or couple may not suit another. Yes, I see one better than the other and I think I can speak from an experience POV. The wife and I have been together for 28 year come next month. With both of us coming out of broken relationships we didn't want to rush into anything, so the first 10 years we were not married. Then one October we needed a reason to throw a party, so I asked her to marry me. 18 years later here we are. Maybe we've matured a bit, or maybe we've just gotten old, either way we don't have spats anymore at all. She's still my everything, and she still allows me in the house. So, I'm going with life after marriage is better.
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Date Joined: Jan 4, 2023 11:19:27 GMT -5
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Post by yew4ic on Oct 8, 2023 15:33:37 GMT -5
You can be in a long term relationship with someone without being Married. Do you see both of these kind of unions as being different from each other? One more superior or perfect than the other? I'm just curious. It's not 'exclusion' we were talking about though was it? Did you see it that way? In that if not living under the same roof, they are both living separate lives? I am all for freedom of choice. There are many kinds of unions out there, what suits one person or couple may not suit another. Yes, I see one better than the other and I think I can speak from an experience POV. The wife and I have been together for 28 year come next month. With both of us coming out of broken relationships we didn't want to rush into anything, so the first 10 years we were not married. Then one October we needed a reason to throw a party, so I asked her to marry me. 18 years later here we are. Maybe we've matured a bit, or maybe we've just gotten old, either way we don't have spats anymore at all. She's still my everything, and she still allows me in the house. So, I'm going with life after marriage is better. I admire couples who never have a spat. Wish I could say that. Johnny and I (not married) are strong together. I love him more than I can ever express,,,but we have an occasional spat, and those times I feel like clobbering him.
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Date Joined: May 20, 2022 16:28:37 GMT -5
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Post by apple on Oct 8, 2023 15:39:21 GMT -5
Yes, I see one better than the other and I think I can speak from an experience POV. The wife and I have been together for 28 year come next month. With both of us coming out of broken relationships we didn't want to rush into anything, so the first 10 years we were not married. Then one October we needed a reason to throw a party, so I asked her to marry me. 18 years later here we are. Maybe we've matured a bit, or maybe we've just gotten old, either way we don't have spats anymore at all. She's still my everything, and she still allows me in the house. So, I'm going with life after marriage is better. I admire couples who never have a spat. Wish I could say that. Johnny and I (not married) are strong together. I love him more than I can ever express,,,but we have an occasional spat, and those times I feel like clobbering him. Spats are an important part of figuring each other out.
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Date Joined: Jan 4, 2023 11:19:27 GMT -5
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Post by yew4ic on Oct 8, 2023 16:03:22 GMT -5
I admire couples who never have a spat. Wish I could say that. Johnny and I (not married) are strong together. I love him more than I can ever express,,,but we have an occasional spat, and those times I feel like clobbering him. Spats are an important part of figuring each other out. So if there are no spats, does that mean there's nothing left to discover?
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Date Joined: May 20, 2022 16:28:37 GMT -5
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Post by apple on Oct 8, 2023 16:07:07 GMT -5
Spats are an important part of figuring each other out. So if there are no spats, does that mean there's nothing left to discover? Sort of lol.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2023 16:21:31 GMT -5
What's admirable about never having had a spat? I don't understand why that is a thing to be admired.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2023 16:32:40 GMT -5
Yes, I see one better than the other and I think I can speak from an experience POV. The wife and I have been together for 28 year come next month. With both of us coming out of broken relationships we didn't want to rush into anything, so the first 10 years we were not married. Then one October we needed a reason to throw a party, so I asked her to marry me. 18 years later here we are. Maybe we've matured a bit, or maybe we've just gotten old, either way we don't have spats anymore at all. She's still my everything, and she still allows me in the house. So, I'm going with life after marriage is better. I admire couples who never have a spat. Wish I could say that. Johnny and I (not married) are strong together. I love him more than I can ever express,,,but we have an occasional spat, and those times I feel like clobbering him. Our first 10 years together was turbulent at times, and to know love, you know hate. I just reached a point in my life that I didn't want the aggravation any more, but realized the solution was in me. It's not that either one of us don't get upset with the other, because we do. It's about how we respond to getting upset. I can look back at every spat we've ever had, and not one was worth the aggravation. Sometimes the greatest thing a man can say, is nothing at all.
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Date Joined: Jan 4, 2023 11:19:27 GMT -5
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Post by yew4ic on Oct 8, 2023 17:26:07 GMT -5
I admire couples who never have a spat. Wish I could say that. Johnny and I (not married) are strong together. I love him more than I can ever express,,,but we have an occasional spat, and those times I feel like clobbering him. Our first 10 years together was turbulent at times, and to know love, you know hate. I just reached a point in my life that I didn't want the aggravation any more, but realized the solution was in me. It's not that either one of us don't get upset with the other, because we do. It's about how we respond to getting upset. I can look back at every spat we've ever had, and not one was worth the aggravation. Sometimes the greatest thing a man can say, is nothing at all. As in "Happy wife = Happy life"? lol
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Date Joined: Jan 4, 2023 11:19:27 GMT -5
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Post by yew4ic on Oct 8, 2023 17:28:47 GMT -5
What's admirable about never having had a spat? I don't understand why that is a thing to be admired. Well if it's always peace and harmony between two people, I imagine it to be a wonderful and rare thing. Apparently they agree on most if not all things, and there's nothing to fight about.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2023 17:30:33 GMT -5
I don't know. Just doesn't sound that wonderful to me. Sounds like 2 boring people! Lol
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Date Joined: May 20, 2022 16:28:37 GMT -5
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Post by apple on Oct 8, 2023 17:56:13 GMT -5
What's admirable about never having had a spat? I don't understand why that is a thing to be admired. Well if it's always peace and harmony between two people, I imagine it to be a wonderful and rare thing. Apparently they agree on most if not all things, and there's nothing to fight about. Personally, I like someone who challenges me and I enjoy spirited debates and not always agreeing but being mature enough to not end up in a "spat".
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Date Joined: Oct 26, 2021 18:21:44 GMT -5
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Post by Rusty on Oct 8, 2023 20:08:47 GMT -5
Well today at church today I heard on November 11 they are having a marriage seminar for those married,engaged etc. Hopefully San can get the day off. After 2 marriages and one ridiculous out of state fling and her NEVER being married I figured it might be a good idea to attend 😳
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Date Joined: Jun 7, 2010 10:10:35 GMT -5
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Post by deyana on Oct 8, 2023 20:54:08 GMT -5
I admire couples who never have a spat. Wish I could say that. Johnny and I (not married) are strong together. I love him more than I can ever express,,,but we have an occasional spat, and those times I feel like clobbering him. I think a spat now and then is a good thing! It clears the air.
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Date Joined: Oct 26, 2021 18:21:44 GMT -5
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Post by Rusty on Oct 8, 2023 22:27:18 GMT -5
I admire couples who never have a spat. Wish I could say that. Johnny and I (not married) are strong together. I love him more than I can ever express,,,but we have an occasional spat, and those times I feel like clobbering him. I think a spat now and then is a good thing! It clears the air. That never works here
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2023 17:22:45 GMT -5
I don't know. Just doesn't sound that wonderful to me. Sounds like 2 boring people! Lol I'm sure we've both been called much worse. And boring is only important to the beholder.
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Date Joined: Mar 14, 2016 18:48:07 GMT -5
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Post by Springschick on Oct 9, 2023 17:26:47 GMT -5
I don't know. Just doesn't sound that wonderful to me. Sounds like 2 boring people! Lol I'm sure we've both been called much worse. And boring is only important to the beholder. There is nothing wrong with being "boring", especially as you get older. No need to constantly be in motion.
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